Hiya, it’s Kayla Kumara, celebrated producer of the ‘fictitious’ – we only exist in Rach’s musical imagination – fibre-celebrating band, ‘Flour Power’. Yesterday, we gave our first performance and it received so many carbohydrate-appreciating giggles that we’re following it up with an encore.
A personalised shout-out to our glorious groupie, Lana, who requested we take a trip back to the 90’s with an iconic Aqua spin-off that we’ve aptly named ‘Carby Girl’. We’ll let you figure out what the original was called, but here’s a hint; perky plastic breasts.
This whimsical parody is mostly for entertainment purposes but there is an underlying message. In the current climate of keto bandwagons, and ‘low carb’ worship, it pays dividends (for your bowels) to remember that fibre, pre-biotics and resistant starches are carbohydrates and without them, the likelihood of your going number two is slimmer than the original Barbie Girl’s waist.
Without further ado, please join me in welcoming to the stage our lead vocalist Riley Rice (for the purposes of this performance she would like to be called ‘Carby’), Guitarist Borris Buckwheat and Drummer extroidinare Peter Potato – who is proudly getting his ‘Ken’ on for the ‘come on Carby, let’s go farty!’ segues.
Carby Girl – Flour Power
(A tribute to Aqua, 90’s pop hits and the poo-pushing fibres that keep the ole’ pipes euphorically clear)
Hiya Carby
Hi Pete!
You want to sing by my side?
Sure, Pete.
Pump it
I’m a Carby Girl, in a Carby World
Tied with elastic
Keto’s need beware
Their fibre intake’s bare
Constipation
Come on Carby, let’s go farty
I’m a cold, bowl of rice,
Jazzed up with some spice
Eat me up, you’ll feel bright
You’ll feel jolly
Have a plan-tain-y roll
With your next soupy bowl
Avo here, Kimchi there,
Oh, how wanky!
You eat lunch, every da-ay
For your own, gut lo-ving ca-u-use
To no-carb, say ‘no way!’
And smooth poos, shall be your-or-ors
Come on Carby, let’s go farty!
Honk, honk, honk yeah
Come on Carby, let’s go farty!
Poo-oo-oo, Poo-oo-oo
Thanks for singing-along. Please keep those requests coming and be sure to share our ‘Flour Power’ gigs with your good-humoured friends. Pay forward the fibre-appreciating love.