I was recently asked this question by someone I really admire. She asked me what made the difference between the way I approach life and the way a lot of other people my age approach it. She wasn’t asking in a way that put me on a pedestal (thank goodness because that would be mis-leading … I really am just the ‘girl next door’), but rather curious about why I am pro-active when it comes to my health and education. How do I know what I know at my age? Why am I empowered rather than playing the victim? Why do I question things? How is it that I am so content in being different when most teenagers just want to ‘fit in’?

At first I was taken aback by this question. I spend a lot of time thinking about why I am the way I am, why I think the way I think and why I believe what I believe (and why so many of my beliefs are changing and evolving everyday). But I don’t often consider the point of difference, and when I do I often just think; “well most people my age haven’t had the same experiences that I have had”.

I have been dealing with a damaged gut and immune system my whole life and particularly since age of 11. I have come back from depression, constant anxiety, extreme sensory issues, a chronic auto immune disease, malnutrition and emaciation, food intolerances (so severe that even a smidgen of a certain food can have me hunched over in pain). I have had hideously uncomfortable hives and rashes, histamine issues that have made it feel almost impossible to breathe and finally (not to be disgusting or anything) such inconsistent, unhealthy bowels that I feared I was dying (not being dramatic, we’re talking a lot of pain, discomfort and ocassional bleeding).

I share all of this, not because I want to throw a pity party in my own honor and invite you all to feel sorry for me, but to give you an honest view of some of the reasons why maybe some consider me to be wise beyond my years (I am still flattered whenever I’m given this feedback as I really just say what I think and feel transparently … I don’t mean to be wise or awe-inspiring … not that I’m complaining if others see me this way).

When you have health scares and aren’t being offered the advice and help that you need from professionals (not to have a dig at any particular profession or clinician), you really have no choice but to take all matters into your own hands. I suppose there is another option. You could become a victim and say ‘oh woe is me, no one will help me and I don’t know what to do and it’s all too hard ……’ but for me that wasn’t an option – on an intuitive level I knew I could know more and do better.

It’s sometimes hard to look back at my adolescents. Most of my memories are tainted by my poor health, from the painful digestive issues I experienced whilst on holidays in the Gold Coast with mum in 2009 (a trip I had been wanting to go on my whole life) to almost all of 2013 where no matter how many great things were going on in my life (holidays, catch-ups, drama nights etc.), I could never fully enjoy them without having a toilet near by (my number one fear was not being by a bathroom).

So I figured if I place a ‘why’ on everything and use it as a lesson and a catalyst that has propelled me to where I am now, then it was all somehow worth it. Every little misadventure that I’ve had with my health has brought me to information that has been invaluable. Every step backwards tested my strength. Every frustration filled me with more passion and determination to know better to do better. So I don’t feel like I have a choice but to keep moving on wards and upwards and continuing my education (that will never end!) so I can be an example and catalyst for change in other people. If I can inspire others to ‘get it’ before they ‘have to get it’ then every hardship I endured had an important purpose.

If I chose to have a defeated, deflated and totally dismal attitude towards my past then what a waste all those lessons were!

So getting back to the question. What makes the difference? I’m still here in this life, despite coming alarmingly close to passing on. I’ve learned A LOT (!!!). I have a burning desire to help others and make a difference. I have exceptional mentors that inspire, educate and challenge me. And maybe most importantly; after years of being the odd one out and just wanting to ‘belong’ with my family and peers, I finally accepted that I was different but not wrong. Suddenly a shift occurred and I was more loved and valued that ever before and happier than ever because I was truly free to be me and not hold back.

The difference is that I’m okay with being quirky – a little different from everyone else. I’m not bound to the status quo and feel comfortable questioning everything. I am a sucker for deep, intellectual conversations where we go straight down a rabbit hole -openening up endless possibilities and challenge the ‘norm’. I’ve got a determined and driven spirit that I can’t help (and wouldn’t want to if I tried). I choose to believe that everything is perfect, and having gone through the horrible health scares that I did, I trust that there was a greater purpose for them.

There are so many maybe’s and reasons why the difference is present … but maybe it’s as simple as this …

I choose to be the difference because I want to make a difference.