These muffins are a result of leftover chickpeas (I used the rest to make the Orgasmic Cookie Dough from Periods, Poo & A Glorious You), a big-ass pumpkin and a new delivery of chocolate chips.
I’d rather celebrate what they are, rather than what they are NOT, but this is 2020 and we like labels for ease of navigation. So, for your convenience, please know that these babies are …
Wheat-free oats – poo-evacuating roughage for the win
Cauliflower – sneaky veg for liver-loving measure
Tahini – calcium-rich creaminess
Medjool dates – sweetness with dump-persuading fibre
Cinnamon – to balance blood sugar
Maca – stress-modulating caramel powder
Banana – magnesium-rich and shaped like a glorious poo
Salted Macadamia butter – bowel-lubricating fats and minerals
And now, for the recipe. I shan’t waste your time with loads of pictures, embedded adds and ramblings about why vitamins are amazing and pooing is essential. YOU KNOW THIS.
Calm The F A R K Down Porridge Bowl
1/3 cup wheat-free oats
1 heaped Tablespoons tahini
2 pitted Medjool dates
1 cup steamed cauliflower blended with 1 1/2 cups water
1 teaspoon maca powder
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1 ripe banana, to serve
1 massive (and I mean mega) spoon FULL of salted macadamia butter (for those that don’t take things literally, this is macadamia butter that has been spiked with pink or sea salt)
Place your cauliflower liquid in a saucepan with oats and dates. Bring to the boil and then reduce heat and simmer until thick, soft and creamy. Try breaking your dates up with the mixing spoon. Turn off the heat and add stir through maca, cinnamon and tahini.
Serve with your ripe banana which you were thoughtful enough to slice up and that generous (AND I MEAN GENEROUS) dollop of salted macadamia butter. If you like crunch like yours truly, add a handful of roasted cashews to the top! Yumbo Jumbo! Now, retreat outside to the sunshine with a glorious read – I know of one if you’re looking – and calm the F A R K down so that you can rest and digest!
That said, I like to whip things up in a jiffy, especially if I get home-mid-arvo and haven’t eaten lunch, or get home from work after 8 and want dinner pronto.
Last year I was doing 18 hours of placement a week in a nutrition clinic, teaching yoges 7 days a week – sometimes multiple classes daily – and editing my book ready for publishing.
If I desired regular fuel, I needed to embrace super-human organisation. Not once did I succumb to takeaway – I must be the only spud muffin on the planet who is yet to use Uber Eats. Nor purchase pre-prepared meals from the supermarket – too much plastic packaging and usually cooked in canola oil. How could I even entertain skipping a meal – did I mention how much I like eating?
I may have eaten homemade cupcakes, self-saucing chocolate pudding and chocolate-chip cookie dough for dinner a few times, but that was for ‘work’. I was recipe testing.
These days I work from home or at least close to home and have more leeway when it comes to foodie organisation. That said, I still love meal prepping on Weekends so that I have easy options at the ready for the first half of the week.
Below are some of my fridge and pantry staples and how I use them.
Happy Pantry Perving – may you find inspiration amongst my cluttered shelves and random culinary pairings.
My Pantry
Smoothie Staples
I love to have a range of powders and spices on hand for my smoothies. Think cinnamon, vanilla bean, raw cacao (raw chocolate powder is stupendously high in magnesium – very important for a yoga teacher), matcha (green tea) powder, green stevia (a sugar-free, ridiculously sweet-tasting herb), cardamom pods, Spirulina (pictured below) and novel items here and there to change things up. At the moment I’m loving red velvet latte powder (beetroot-based), maca powder, carob and blue Butterly pea powder. Then all I have to do is add filtered water ice cubes, coconut water, frozen organic spinach, fresh zucchini and sliced ginger and whizz – smoothie magic a-go-go.
Oats and Banana Flour
Man I love working with organic oats and green banana flour. I use them to make these bread roll muffins, and pretty much all other baked goods, including the chocolate cupcakes and self-saucing pudding in my upcoming book baby ‘Periods, Poo & A Glorious You’.
I also use oats to make savoury risottos, chickpea-based cookie dough (also in my book baby) and stirred through coconut yoghurt that had been blended with banana and vanilla and layered with crunchy ground flax seed. Yummers. Me gut says Hells to the Yeah!
Aussie Olive and Organic Coconut Oil
My fam and I can’t do without these two beauties. I love olive oil for dressing veggies and risottos and coconut oil in my nut butters. I also love the flavour of coconut oil with roasted veggies.
Homemade Nut and Seed Butters
Nut and seed butters changed my life. I’m not being dramatic spud muffins. I mean it. You can add them to just about everything and they’ll provide protein (see-ya animal flesh), creaminess (so-long moo-juice), vitamins and minerals (move over chicken embryos) and fibre (your welcome bowels). Here’s how I nut (and seed) butter;
Inca inchi seed butter mixed with turmeric, pepper and salt for a creamy dressing for steamed greens
Pecan Cashew butter with baked sweet spuds (all three colours; red (white flesh), orange (amber flesh) and white (purple flesh)
Hazelnut butter with roasted pumpkin
Tahini – black tahini is my fave – in this recipe. I buy this one from The Source Bulk Foods (not sponsored).
My Fridge
Fresh Fruits, Veggies and Ginger
With help from your pals nut (or seed) butter, seasonings, olive oil, ferments (see below) and either a muffin (see below) or serve of resistant starch rice (cooked and cooled rice – for a specific recipe check out the Poop-promoting Resistant Starch Rice in my upcoming book baby) you can easily make a meal of veggies.
On nights that I teach a yoga class from 7-8pm, I like to enjoy a muffin (below) with 3-4 Brazil nuts plus a generous tablespoon (HEAPED) of nut or seed butter with a simple serving or fresh fruit such as an apple or berries. This makes a light yet satisfying dinner if you eat later than usual – like I do several evenings a week.
Fresh ginger, zucchini and spinach are a dream base for an easy smoothie. Just add ice cubes, coconut water and all of your favourite shelf-stable powers i.e. raw cacao, carob, Spirulina, cinnamon etc. and you have yourself a meal. This works well as a standalone brekkie or as a ‘starter’ before a ‘second course’ of apple or banana with homemade nut or seed butter. I’ve been know to have a snacky smoothie dinner like this when I arrive home late feeling thirsty, hungry and in need of both hydration and easily-digestible energy.
Ferments
These take any savoury meal to the next level and deliver digestive-aiding enzymes to boot. They also offer a whopper dose of friendly probiotics to supplement the ‘forest in our gut’. A little goes a long way. I stir a dollop though veggie and salad creations or eat with ripe avocado and turmeric resistant starch rice for a colourful meal.
Roasted Veggies
Another bomb diggity bomb bomb. Add roast veggies – think pumpkin or sweet spud, regular spud, capsicum, red onion, eggplant, zucchini, beets … WHATEVER FLOATS YOUR GROOVY BOAT – to salads or steamed veggies with freshly cooked chickpeas (see below). It’s also no secret that I love pumpkin and sweet spud with nut/seed butters. You can even snack on roasted veggies. Add homemade guacamole and ferments to make a light meal. Drooling!
Slow Cooker Chickpeas
I buy chickpeas dirt cheap at the local bulk store and soak them overnight in salted water. Then I drain, rinse and pop in the slow cooker covered with more water. They cook on high for 4 hours. Then I drain and rinse again. Once cooled, they keep for 5 days in the fridge in an airtight container. I use them in salads, veggie creations, this bowl and Orgasmic Cookie Dough (recipe in my book baby).
Profound Plantain Muffins
Forget the infamous Fat Bomb Muffins of best-selling cookbooks gone by, these muffins are their plant-based, fibre-bomb cousins. They add satisfaction and loads of gut-soothing fibre (nothing harsh about these intestinal brooms) to any meal and because they are the best-ever vehicle for homemade nut butter, they make upping proteins and fats in the diet a cinch. In my nut butter-obsessed opinion it would be a crime to eat these babies without nut or seed butter. Or at the very least creamy coconut butter if nuts and seeds send your immune system haywire. To be truthful, I often make these delights with green bananas, as I don’t always get to the markets to snag a bunch of plantains. They still work out swell.
There you have it kiddlets. This is why I’m such a happy banana. Look at all the delicious and soooooo freakin easy peasy lemon squeezy foods I get to enjoy. I hope you’ve found inspiration in all, some or a humble few of my everyday suggestions.
If you’re wanting even more foodie inspiration, kitchen clarity or nutritional coaching, check out my list of services to see if working together sounds like something that would make you happier than a bright little Vegemite. I am a qualified nutritionist who acts more like a foodie fairy godmother than a white coat health professional.
Well not actually, though I have been known to make suggestive noises when I bite into sumptuous preparations, I do not, repeat DO NOT, make love to my food. Hopefully, however, I grabbed your attention with the title, and now you’re thinking; hmmm orgasmic dinner bowl … I’m intrigued.
This tasty bowl is …
Addictive – I’m warning you now
A complete source of protein – all essential amino acids are represented
Rich in nourishing fatty acids – may your skin, brains, gonads (I’m serious) and hormones drink them in. Cheers.
Poop-producing fibre – so much roughage. Glorious!
Easily prepared in advance – busy beavers rejoice!
It’s been a while since my last “a day on my plate” post and I figured, I’ve actually got time to do a blog post (this chicken is up-to-date with her uni assignments). Let’s take a peek at my veg-a-licious eats.
Okay, so I’m actually only going to be talking about 3 or so shades of vegan today, but I wanted a captivating, snazzy title and “two-to-three shades of vegan” doesn’t sound anywhere near as thrilling.
Those of you that have been loyal readers since this blog’s very beginning – way back in late 2014, will know that I’ve had quite a rollercoaster ride with my health. I’m a firm believer that diet and lifestyle play a huge role in health outcomes and so this is always the area I come back to when thing’s aren’t right. I’m not against medications in all instances, but was on so many for so long, that if I can avoid them, I will – simply so that my liver and kidneys have less to deal with. I’ll also avoid surgery wherever possible, especially after the gallstone dilemma of 2016! Which brings me to today’s topic of discussion – where am I up to now?
Cooked and cooled rice is a source of resistant starch. Resistant starch (as the name suggests) resists digestion in the small intestine, instead acting as more of a fibre. It’s an incredible fuel source for our gut bugs to keep them thriving and healthy (super important for digestion, amazing skin, immunity and mental health).
The coconut milk is a brill source of fatty acids for nourishment and energy and the warming spices help to balance blood glucose levels. Pair this with the fibre- rich dates and the zinc-loaded pumpkin seeds and you’ve got yourself a pretty snazzy make-ahead brekkie.